Monday, April 12, 2010

The Less Abstract, More Typical Lucy Explanation

I want to explain my last post in a non-abstract poetic bullshit way.

In no way am I planning on leaving my boyfriend for some guy I hardly know. I’m not in love with this guy, or even crushing on him in a big way either. I think at this point I’m fully capable of having a strong emotional connection to someone in a friendly capacity.

I could easily feel this way about a woman, but this time he happens a man. I suppose that might get confusing, as feelings often do. There’s just something so honest, so deep about him that I feel the need to have him in my life. Maybe not permanently, maybe not for long at all, but at this point in my life I feel like he can offer me things that I need. Emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, musically; he’s teaching me and pushing me to expand myself. I want to be surrounded by that energy.

I don’t know where all of this soul, energy, aura stuff is coming from right now. Perhaps the yoga, or the need I’ve felt lately to find more meaning in my life, or maybe it’s just that I finished Eat, Pray, Love and am desperate to follow in her lead. Whatever it is, I’m beginning to feel a bit of the void being filled by what T gives me. I’m letting myself speak freely without my guarded sarcasm, feel without worry, and open up to my creativity.

Frog Prince can’t help with these aspects of myself. Which isn’t to say that he doesn’t help me in other ways. He’s teaching me patience, and to control my emotions. He taught me to be more relaxed, to sit still. He’s teaching me how to be responsible. At 23, he’s in many ways the adult I may never be. But still, he tries to teach me. They’re all lessons I need and he’s in my universe to provide those lessons to me. Along of course with love and kindness and all of those other great things.

What I’m trying to say, I guess, is that I think different people come into your life for different reasons at various times. And I’m really lucky to have people in my life right now that I know are bettering me.

No comments:

Post a Comment